Finding Extraordinary in the Ordinary

How a Simple Life in Finland Changed My Perspective on Happiness

My life in Helsinki is simple. Maybe even, dare I say… basic. I mean that in the most positive sense. It’s funny to me that I sometimes have to qualify words like “basic”, or “normal”. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be something a little more than “normal”. I’m not quite sure what I was looking for. But I wanted a life that people could look at and say: “Wow. What a man. What an extraordinary life”. I guess I wanted to be seen. Things couldn’t be more different today. I don’t need anything more than my beautiful little life. I’ll try explain how I got to this place. 

As I’ve grown older, I’ve realised that I am the only person that can give meaning to my life. No one else can do that for me. If people from the outside are what give my life meaning, what’s the point? What is the point of living a life that is designed to please everyone around you, except yourself? There is none. I understood this logically - even as a younger man - carrying hopes of grandeur and fame. Now, it just hits different. I feel it in my soul. This change is hard to put into words. 

I now have a deep appreciation and joy for normality.

I think living in Finland has played a part in changing my outlook.

In 2015 I went to visit my brothers in the USA. I went to LA. Everywhere we went, people were bombastic and loud. You had this sense that everyone believed they could be famous. The atmosphere was practically crackling with possibilities. You order food from a waitress, only to find that she’s a screenwriter trying to break into Hollywood. The guitarist playing on the stage - in some obscure restaurant - played a riff on John Mayers album once upon a time. Status was waved around and used like some sort of currency. I cannot pretend to be able to see into the hearts of other human beings. But the vibe I got was that people really, really wanted to be seen. Yes, it was pretentious, and I could see that connecting with people was transparently transactional. I don’t know if that’s an accurate representation of what it was actually like. It’s just the vibe I remember. But hey, It was fun, regardless.

I clearly recall seeing some streets that only had really fancy cars. Arriving in a nice car to a bar or party, added to your aura. Santa Monica was something else. I’m not quite sure what it’s like today.

The point is, when I was there, the sense I got was that everyone was trying to live large. Everyone wanted to be known and seen. I’m not commenting on whether that is a good or bad way to live. That’s up to you to decide. The important thing is that you do what makes you happy.

Finnish culture couldn’t be more different. I reckon I could safely extend this to Nordic and Scandinavian culture - in general.

Unlike other places, your average person seemingly doesn’t want to draw attention to themselves. Anyone doing that outside of the right context is usually seen as rude and disturbing the peace. Society here is setup in a way where leaving people alone is normalised and practiced by almost everyone. This obviously depends on the context. Standing at a bus stop, or riding in the metro is different from being in a club or bar.

I always used to say that no matter how famous I get, I would buy a house in Finland and treat this as my base. Let’s put aside what that says about how I used to look at things for now. I was blown away to see really well known Finnish celebrities largely left alone when they were in a public setting. I remember seeing the previous Prime Minister (Sanna Marin) walking with her child (I think) in the city, unbothered. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only person who recognised her.

There is something about this atmosphere  that has influenced me. I love the idea of living my own little life, undisturbed. I don’t have a need to be seen or heard, apart from the people I love and care about. This isn’t to say that I don’t have massive ambitions, or that I don’t want recognition for things I work hard for. It’s just that my priority is to live well. To find joy in the little things that no one can see. I’m sure this sounds strange to some of you out there who have always felt this way.

But it’s a big change for me.

More recently, I’ve found myself pulling back a little. I feel so at peace with my outlook on life at the moment. It goes without saying that Finland makes it easy to do so. There isn’t tonnes of drama. You can live peacefully if you choose to.

My life is extraordinary. I wake up every morning and I can’t believe how blessed I am. I’m alive. My heart beats. I feel and think. Out of everything that happened in history, I was somehow born. How much more extraordinary can one get? I love the fact that I get to wake up in the morning, pour myself coffee and look out of my window. I’m grateful for how safe I feel in this country. How smoothly everything works.

You see, change happens to us all. Sometimes it’s sudden. Sometimes it’s gradual. We don’t have to mourn who we once were. Change reminds us that we are human. That every moment is important. A blessing. Everything and everyone is also constantly changing. It’s a part of life. As of writing this, the trees have manes of gold and crimson. Not so long from now, they will be wearing coats of white, and it will be freaking cold.

But hey, that’s life.

In short, go out and live a pleasant life. And if you can, help others do the same.

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